Turning 50
I turned fifty, (the big 5 o) today. Surprisingly enough, I didn't dread it. I can hardly believe it, but I didn't dread it. I expected to dread turning fifty because it took me two years to get over turning forty. Now that was traumatic. For some reason when I turned forty-nine I felt as if I was already fifty. so I will have been fifty for two years in my mind.
Reflecting on my life is something I tried to avoid. What have I done in the half century I've been on this earth? Well at least the past quarter century. Let's see, I've gotten older, I've gotten fatter, and I've managed to see the world!!! Oh, I almost forget about that, I travelled extensively after I was twenty-five. Lets keep this positive roll going. I moved out of Pine Bluff, Arkansas, but I'm still saddled with a house built in 1889. See there's a flip side to everything. So I'm a landlord now, is that a good thing? I have three daughters and two marriages. The daughters are great. I discovered I'm not one to be married. One daughter is living on her own in the Midwest, another is in college, and the youngest is still a teenager. I'm a legally blind contributor to several stock photography agencies, that counts for something.
"What do you do for work?" people used to ask me. "Look," became my standard reply. That was true, I looked for work. The only exception was while I lived in Utah. There I worked my way up from fast food restaurants to the high end Mulboones. However, my favorite job was working for SOS Temporary Services at R. and R. Donnelley. It was ideal for me. I walked to work in about fifteen minutes. We could clock in five minutes early. It was assembly line work packaging computer programs and the books that came with them back in the day. We talked and played the radio. Lunch was fort-five minutes, enough time to walk to Arby's, sit down and eat off the dollar menu. Next clock in five minutes early, work some more, and off at 3:30. Where else can you get paid for a extra fifty minutes a week? But mostly I looked for work.
I started looking after I graduated from high school. I didn't get hired so I went to college. I didn't get hired so I got Married. I got divorced and did the fast food, Donnelley thing. While doing the fast food thing I looked for better work. After we moved back to Pine Bluff I looked for work some more. I even got an expert certification in Microsoft Office to prove to an employer that I could use a computer. in 2007 I gave up looking. I had been looking since 1979. The trigger point happened when two people whom I had known for ten years asked, "Can you see to do that?" I was floored, astonished, astounded, and even gobsmacked. People whom I had known for ten years were asking me if I could see to do a copy editor's job. That did it. Some, maybe many, would disagree, but I was through. No more taking the bus to places to fill out applications or interview, no more explaining what I could and couldn't see, no more explaining to a prospective employer that I can work in a fast paced, cluttered, demanding, etc, environment without hurting myself. If people I had know for a long time didn't realize I could do a job, how in the world could I convince someone I just met?
I turned my passions into extra money. I won't say profit yet. I started submitting photographs to stock photography agencies; and lo, and behold they were accepted and some sold. Others have sold over and over. I've sold AVON products on and off for several years. It's okay but I much prefer selling the candles I make here at home. Everybody loves a vacation and I love Polynesia. Kalani's Kandles was born out of that combination. I specialize in exotic, tropical, and unusual fragrances. You can get a candle that smells like Hawai`i or a candle that smells like money.
So turning fifty today got me thinking about my life. It is what it is.
Until next time,
Wanda
